Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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