You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
