At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
