Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize