Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
