let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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