Where is the hickey?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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