Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
