it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
