i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
