Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
