i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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