i was born a porn star she said
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
