its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
These tits shall not be calmed
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
