Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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