maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize