oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
