if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
