I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
