i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
