NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize