It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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