He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
