her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
