His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
