I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
