i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
