i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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