I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
