What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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