OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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