Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
