I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
