Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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