you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
