my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
only you would photoshop your dick
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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