Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
FUCK WHALES
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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