Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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