We're facebook friends in real life
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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