that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
All the doctor said was why
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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