was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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