He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
