I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
