so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
