If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
