Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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