What did we do last night that was yellow?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
