you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
