But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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