I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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