yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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