Midget sex pt 2 tonight
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize