I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
