she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
