WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
