Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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