What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
