Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
