Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
and she was petting her beer can
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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