I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just had sex bonerless
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
