so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
