Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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